[I] I forget what the Church of the Blank Sheet of Paper is called, unless that's it...

[Esmeraldus]

But acolytes ought to like this. Or burn the creator as a heretic.

http://blanksheetofpaper.com/

[Weatherlawyer]

Post by Esmeraldus
But acolytes ought to like this. Or burn the creator as a heretic.
http://blanksheetofpaper.com/

Sounds like the reason that Hewlitt Packard has pulled out all the
stops for OOXML. No doubt that fake April Fool actual ISO will help
them sell an awful lot of ink.

[Lister]

On Wed, 2 Apr 2008 01:39:09 -0400, "Esmeraldus"

Post by Esmeraldus
But acolytes ought to like this. Or burn the creator as a heretic.
http://blanksheetofpaper.com/

Isn't there a song about that TTTO the battle hymn of the republic?

[Daibhid Ceanaideach]

Post by Lister
On Wed, 2 Apr 2008 01:39:09 -0400, "Esmeraldus"

Post by Esmeraldus
But acolytes ought to like this. Or burn the creator as a heretic.
http://blanksheetofpaper.com/

Isn't there a song about that TTTO the battle hymn of the republic?

There should be, I distinctly recall writing one...

Ah, yes, here it is. There's two, in fact. This is mine:

Mine eyes have seen the coming of the paper that is blank,
With nothing writ upon it, for which we all give thank.
We'll see the false heresy of the other blank sheet sank,
And the paper mills press on.

Glory to the sheet of paper
Glory to the sheet of paper
Glory to the sheet of paper
That's truly been left blank

And this is Adrian's:

Mine eyes have seen the empty space that fills the sacred sheet
There is nothing there to look at, there is nothing there to read
Though the message is implicit, every heretic should heed
That any word is Wrong.


Empty, empty sheet of paper
Empty, empty sheet of paper
Empty, empty sheet of paper
Where any mark is Wrong.

[8'FED]

Is it? I've forgotten. I suppose it must be.

Post by Daibhid Ceanaideach
Mine eyes have seen the empty space that fills the sacred sheet
There is nothing there to look at, there is nothing there to read
Though the message is implicit, every heretic should heed

Hmmm, if I declare that it should be "that fills *our* sacred sheet",
can I have myself declared a heretic for writing the original, and
order myself to be burned alive at the stake?

Post by Daibhid Ceanaideach
That any word is Wrong.

In any case, I'd definitely make the change s/word/mark/ here.

Post by Daibhid Ceanaideach
Empty, empty sheet of paper
Empty, empty sheet of paper
Empty, empty sheet of paper
Where any mark is Wrong.

And probably change the last line here to "With nothing thereupon".
The only problem with this is that it reduces the resemblance to the
original in which the verses and chorus end with the same phrase.

Adrian.

[Daibhid Ceanaideach]

Post by Esmeraldus
But acolytes ought to like this. Or burn the creator as a heretic.
http://blanksheetofpaper.com/

There's were many schisms, I actually forget what the original Church of
the Blank Sheet of Paper actually believed. Speaking as the representative
of the Reformed United Continuing Scottish Presbyterian Wee Free Church of
the Blank Sheet of Paper, I liked this, and printed several.

[8'FED]

Post by Daibhid Ceanaideach
There's were many schisms, I actually forget what the original Church of
the Blank Sheet of Paper actually believed. Speaking as the representative
of the Reformed United Continuing Scottish Presbyterian Wee Free Church of
the Blank Sheet of Paper, I liked this, and printed several.

If I remember correctly, how it originally originally started was as a
parody of religious organisations such as JWs that distribute
pamphlets, with the idea of distributing blank pieces of paper instead.

What I'm a lot more sure about is that almost immediately, the church
split over whether a blank piece of paper is exactly that, or whether
a true blank piece of paper must have the holy words "this sheet
intentionally left blank" printed upon it in order to distinguish it
from a mere piece of paper with nothing on it (as maintained by
Richard Bos, may his name be accursed forever).

There are many proofs that the latter view is evil and Satanic, and
one such proof is that nobody has ever written a filk to defend it. It
stands to reason that anything which cannot be expressed in the form
of a filk cannot be true.

Adrian.

[Janaina Rudberg]

Post by 8'FED

Post by Daibhid Ceanaideach
There's were many schisms, I actually forget what the original Church of
the Blank Sheet of Paper actually believed. Speaking as the representative
of the Reformed United Continuing Scottish Presbyterian Wee Free Church of
the Blank Sheet of Paper, I liked this, and printed several.

If I remember correctly, how it originally originally started was as a
parody of religious organisations such as JWs that distribute
pamphlets, with the idea of distributing blank pieces of paper instead.
What I'm a lot more sure about is that almost immediately, the church
split over whether a blank piece of paper is exactly that, or whether
a true blank piece of paper must have the holy words "this sheet
intentionally left blank" printed upon it in order to distinguish it
from a mere piece of paper with nothing on it (as maintained by
Richard Bos, may his name be accursed forever).
There are many proofs that the latter view is evil and Satanic, and
one such proof is that nobody has ever written a filk to defend it. It
stands to reason that anything which cannot be expressed in the form
of a filk cannot be true.
Adrian.

For anyone who's interested in the sequence of events, the AFP Timelines
have have this to say:

http://www.lspace.org/fandom/afp/timelines/subliminal.html

/Janaina (who loved that thread)

[Len Oil]

Post by 8'FED
There are many proofs that the latter view is evil and Satanic, and
one such proof is that nobody has ever written a filk to defend it. It
stands to reason that anything which cannot be expressed in the form
of a filk cannot be true.

Oh little sheet of Blank Paper,
How Blank we see thee be.
Upon thy plain and markless plane,
The vital words we see.
We read "This Sheet Has Beeeeeen Left
Intentionally Blank".
If the page bears no message,
Your state we cannot thank.


;)


(TTTO /Little Town Of Bethlehem/. Or 'Forest Green', I think it's called.)

[Large Dave]

Post by 8'FED

Post by Daibhid Ceanaideach
There's were many schisms, I actually forget what the original Church of
the Blank Sheet of Paper actually believed. Speaking as the representative
of the Reformed United Continuing Scottish Presbyterian Wee Free Church of
the Blank Sheet of Paper, I liked this, and printed several.

If I remember correctly, how it originally originally started was as a
parody of religious organisations such as JWs that distribute
pamphlets, with the idea of distributing blank pieces of paper instead.
What I'm a lot more sure about is that almost immediately, the church
split over whether a blank piece of paper is exactly that, or whether
a true blank piece of paper must have the holy words "this sheet
intentionally left blank" printed upon it in order to distinguish it
from a mere piece of paper with nothing on it (as maintained by
Richard Bos, may his name be accursed forever).

I can attest to that, as witnessed by my sig.

[Richard Bos]

Post by 8'FED

Post by Daibhid Ceanaideach
There's were many schisms, I actually forget what the original Church of
the Blank Sheet of Paper actually believed. Speaking as the representative
of the Reformed United Continuing Scottish Presbyterian Wee Free Church of
the Blank Sheet of Paper, I liked this, and printed several.

If I remember correctly, how it originally originally started was as a
parody of religious organisations such as JWs that distribute
pamphlets, with the idea of distributing blank pieces of paper instead.
What I'm a lot more sure about is that almost immediately, the church
split over whether a blank piece of paper is exactly that, or whether
a true blank piece of paper must have the holy words "this sheet
intentionally left blank" printed upon it in order to distinguish it
from a mere piece of paper with nothing on it (as maintained by
Richard Bos, may his name be accursed forever).

Oho! I have quoted here from the Second Book to prove that the Empty
Sheet is untenable, and I have even posted a full exegesis of why each
of the five Holy Words is both a necessity and a sufficiency[1], and you
accuse _me_ of heresy!?
Your evident lies only serve to show up the moral bankruptcty of you
Middle-Sheetians, you know. You start out prevaricating about the
position of the Holy Words on the Blank Sheet, and you end up denying
their sacrity altogether. Oh, how steep is your descent!

Post by 8'FED
There are many proofs that the latter view is evil and Satanic,

And now you borrow from other religions? Creative and sinuigrade you
are, orthodox you certainly cannot be called.

Post by 8'FED
and one such proof is that nobody has ever written a filk to defend it.

Apart from the simple fact that the Blank Sheet is of such sacred
clarity that it needs defense, let alone from a filk, I would look
askance at any hymn written to its laud unless the tune was written by
someone like Bach, Tallis or Vaughan Williams, and the words by a true
poet. None of your broken rhymes set to happy-clappy melodies for me,
thank you very much.

Richard

[1] You can't deny it, you know - you were in that thread. The date was
2004-11-20, the subject "[I] Church of the Blank Sheet of Paper".

[8'FED]

Post by Richard Bos
Your evident lies only serve to show up the moral bankruptcty of you
Middle-Sheetians, you know. You start out prevaricating about the
position of the Holy Words on the Blank Sheet, and you end up denying
their sacrity altogether. Oh, how steep is your descent!

One thing I have never understood about your foul sect is why you
cannot see that, even if a blank sheet of paper *could* have words
printed on it (which it can't, obviously), the word "intentionally"
would *still* be inferior to the word "deliberately".

Post by Richard Bos
And now you borrow from other religions? Creative and sinuigrade you
are, orthodox you certainly cannot be called.

"Sorry, no dictionaries indexed in the selected category contain the
word sinuigrade."
-- http://www.onelook.com/?w=sinuigrade

You also invented "sacrity", but in that case I know what you meant
whereas sinuigrade is more puzzling. I find myself wondering whether
such novelties speak for, or against, your supposed authority on the
matter of "sacred words".

(Not that I'm wondering about whether you /have/ that authority, of
course.)

Adrian.

[Elliott Grasett]

8'FED wrote:
<snip>

Post by 8'FED
You also invented "sacrity", but in that case I know what you meant
whereas sinuigrade is more puzzling. I find myself wondering whether
such novelties speak for, or against, your supposed authority on the
matter of "sacred words".
(Not that I'm wondering about whether you /have/ that authority, of
course.)

My gloss on "sinuigrade" is "sine-wave-like", but I could be wrong.
It might be "snake-like".

[8'FED]

Post by Elliott Grasett

Post by 8'FED
You also invented "sacrity", but in that case I know what you meant
whereas sinuigrade is more puzzling. I find myself wondering whether
such novelties speak for, or against, your supposed authority on the
matter of "sacred words".
(Not that I'm wondering about whether you /have/ that authority, of
course.)

My gloss on "sinuigrade" is "sine-wave-like", but I could be wrong.
It might be "snake-like".

I was thinking along similar lines with regard to the sine-wave, but
not sure what it might mean as applied to a sentient being. I had at
least three hypotheses: "twisted" (because weaving is conceptually
next door to twisting), "inconsistent" (as in alternating between one
philosophical position and its opposite), and "good at dodging" (if
you've seen people dodging bullets in a movie, you'll know what I
mean).

What Richard *meant* may well be something I didn't even think of.

Adrian.

[Lesley Weston]

Post by Elliott Grasett
<snip>

Post by 8'FED
You also invented "sacrity", but in that case I know what you meant
whereas sinuigrade is more puzzling. I find myself wondering whether
such novelties speak for, or against, your supposed authority on the
matter of "sacred words".
(Not that I'm wondering about whether you /have/ that authority, of
course.)

My gloss on "sinuigrade" is "sine-wave-like", but I could be wrong.
It might be "snake-like".

Or possibly "Chinese-like".

[Alec Cawley]

Post by 8'FED

Post by Richard Bos
Your evident lies only serve to show up the moral bankruptcty of you
Middle-Sheetians, you know. You start out prevaricating about the
position of the Holy Words on the Blank Sheet, and you end up denying
their sacrity altogether. Oh, how steep is your descent!

One thing I have never understood about your foul sect is why you
cannot see that, even if a blank sheet of paper *could* have words
printed on it (which it can't, obviously), the word "intentionally"
would *still* be inferior to the word "deliberately".

There I think you betray your own cause. The words were obviously put om
intentionally i.e. with intent - they didn't get there because someone
spilled ink. But they were not put on deliberately i.e. with due
deliberation, because anyone whom had deliberated properly would have
refrained from putting them there at all.

[Daibhid Ceanaideach]

Post by Alec Cawley

Post by 8'FED

Post by Richard Bos
Your evident lies only serve to show up the moral bankruptcty of you
Middle-Sheetians, you know. You start out prevaricating about the
position of the Holy Words on the Blank Sheet, and you end up
denying their sacrity altogether. Oh, how steep is your descent!

One thing I have never understood about your foul sect is why you
cannot see that, even if a blank sheet of paper *could* have words
printed on it (which it can't, obviously), the word "intentionally"
would *still* be inferior to the word "deliberately".

There I think you betray your own cause. The words were obviously put
om intentionally i.e. with intent - they didn't get there because
someone spilled ink. But they were not put on deliberately i.e. with
due deliberation, because anyone whom had deliberated properly would
have refrained from putting them there at all.

But the Five Words do not refer to themselves, but to the blankness of
the sheet. There may well be an obscure cult that believes the Blank
Sheet should read "This sheet intentionally inscribed 'This sheet
intentionally inscribed...'", but they're keeping very quiet about it,
and quite right too.

[Richard Bos]

Post by 8'FED

Post by Richard Bos
Your evident lies only serve to show up the moral bankruptcty of you
Middle-Sheetians, you know. You start out prevaricating about the
position of the Holy Words on the Blank Sheet, and you end up denying
their sacrity altogether. Oh, how steep is your descent!

One thing I have never understood about your foul sect is why you
cannot see that, even if a blank sheet of paper *could* have words
printed on it (which it can't, obviously), the word "intentionally"
would *still* be inferior to the word "deliberately".

Oh, how you quibble! Certainly you undermine your own position by
chicaning about the details of words you believe should not be there at
all, and then being wrong about them as well. It is clear to any true
Blank-Sheetian that "intentionally" is the right word to use, and
"deliberately" a signpost for an unstable faith. Mere temporal thesauri
might claim that they are synonyms, but to the soul they are different,
for they are different in tenor.

"Deliberately" has overtones of deliberation, all-weighing, pro-con-
this-that maybes and perchances; of a process, the outcome of which
could conceivably have been that this Sheet would not have been left
Blank. But this cannot be; to a true believer, a Sheet either is Blank,
or is not. There need not, indeed should not be any deliberation over
that single fact.
"Intentionally", by contrast, shows intent, clarity of mind, certainty
of Blankness - knowledge, inner knowledge, rather than indecision over a
Blank Sheet. All good believers must always question the truth, for an
unquestioned truth leads to an easily swayable mind - must question, and
doing so, shall time and again return to the undoubtable truth of the
Blank Sheet of Paper. But with that undoubtable truth reconfirmed in his
mind, this good believer will never need to doubt the Blankness of each
individual Blank Sheet, but have his full intent set on it.

Post by 8'FED

Post by Richard Bos
And now you borrow from other religions? Creative and sinuigrade you
are, orthodox you certainly cannot be called.

"Sorry, no dictionaries indexed in the selected category contain the
word sinuigrade."
-- http://www.onelook.com/?w=sinuigrade
You also invented "sacrity", but in that case I know what you meant
whereas sinuigrade is more puzzling. I find myself wondering whether
such novelties speak for, or against, your supposed authority on the
matter of "sacred words".

My authority on the Holy Words derives purely and entirely from the
sacred texts of the Blank Sheet of Paper, I assure you. I do not pretend
to be more of a holy man than is anybody else who reads those books with
an open mind, but any such person has without a doubt more authority
than those who reject the true way of the Blank Sheet - those latter
people, for certain, shall be brought to naught in the Great Shredder
and not rest with the Old Origami Masters.
As for sinuigrade, it is not a Holy Word in the first place, so that has
nothing to with it (and I am aghast that you pretend it could have), but
-grade means "moving", as in tardigrade: slow-moving, and plantigrade:
moving on one's entire sole (such as humans and bears do, for example);
and sinu- means what you inferred it means. The whole word, therefore,
means "moving twistily, like a snake or worm"; something your words do
around the truth, and for which there was not yet a good word and a
neologism was needed.

Tomorrow I'm flying to Rome[1]; maybe I should bring back some
literature from the Jesuits, as a study object for Middle-Sheetian petty
argumentation?

Richard

[1] No, really; a week's well-deserved holiday.

[8'FED]

Post by Richard Bos
My authority on the Holy Words derives purely and entirely from the
sacred texts of the Blank Sheet of Paper, I assure you. I do not pretend
to be more of a holy man than is anybody else who reads those books with
an open mind, but any such person has without a doubt more authority
than those who reject the true way of the Blank Sheet - those latter
people, for certain, shall be brought to naught in the Great Shredder
and not rest with the Old Origami Masters.

"Beware of those who purport to speak of holy words yet are blind
to all that is truly holy. For there is no holy word but that
which, by its very nature, cannot be included in any dictionary,
and yet paradoxically, by its very nature, *must* be included in
*every* dictionary, yea on every page of that dictionary, even
within every D, Q and O."

And if that doesn't look familiar, you've been reading the wrong
scriptures.

Adrian.

[Bonzai Kitten]

Post by 8'FED

Post by Richard Bos
My authority on the Holy Words derives purely and entirely from the
sacred texts of theBlankSheetofPaper, I assure you. I do not pretend
to be more of a holy man than is anybody else who reads those books with
an open mind, but any such person has without a doubt more authority
than those who reject the true way of theBlankSheet- those latter
people, for certain, shall be brought to naught in the Great Shredder
and not rest with the Old Origami Masters.

"Beware of those who purport to speak of holy words yet are blind
to all that is truly holy. For there is no holy word but that
which, by its very nature, cannot be included in any dictionary,
and yet paradoxically, by its very nature, *must* be included in
*every* dictionary, yea on every page of that dictionary, even
within every D, Q and O."
And if that doesn't look familiar, you've been reading the wrong
scriptures.

Speaking of holy words, recently, a document came into my possession,
purported to be a page that was removed by revisionists from the
beginning of the Gospel of the Pure Page.

This sheet is not in fact blank, but contains the following text:

"Instructions for use: Hold page over HEAT to activate the lemon-juice
invisible ink..." (translated from the original Aramaic)

This throws a new light on the verse, believed to have been retained
in more recent translations in the "Letters to the Napolitana No
Anchovies" (ch 6. v 4) which has been translated roughly as "And those
reading upon the blankness shalt be burned over pieces of lettered
paper, with the juices of the lemon"


This document as been carbon dated by experts, and is believed to be
roughly seven thousand years old.

[ingenious paradox]

On Thu, 24 Apr 2008 18:13:29 GMT, ***@xs4all.nl (Richard Bos)
wrote:

[a discourse on the above church]

Richard, when you return from your sojourn in the Eternal City, will
you renew matrimonial vows with me?

Julie
~*~

[Richard Bos]

Post by ingenious paradox
[a discourse on the above church]
Richard, when you return from your sojourn in the Eternal City, will
you renew matrimonial vows with me?

Ah... well... HMPastaHYG?

Richard

[ingenious paradox]

Post by Richard Bos
Ah... well... HMPastaHYG?

Eight different types!

... but only one is in a jar.

~*~

[Lesley Weston]

Post by ingenious paradox

Post by Richard Bos
Ah... well... HMPastaHYG?

Eight different types!
... but only one is in a jar.
~*~

Wouldn't it be more important to know HMRiceHYG? There doesn't seem to
be a world shortage of pasta. Yet.

[ingenious paradox]

On Tue, 06 May 2008 21:10:02 GMT, Lesley Weston

Post by Lesley Weston
Wouldn't it be more important to know HMRiceHYG? There doesn't seem to
be a world shortage of pasta. Yet.

Ah, but I'm not sure I'd answer that one: it's recently come under the
heading of sensitive information.

Julie

[Richard Bos]

Post by ingenious paradox
On Tue, 06 May 2008 21:10:02 GMT, Lesley Weston

Post by Lesley Weston
Wouldn't it be more important to know HMRiceHYG? There doesn't seem to
be a world shortage of pasta. Yet.

Ah, but I'm not sure I'd answer that one: it's recently come under the
heading of sensitive information.

A third of a packet of basmati; too much wild rice mixture (I like it,
but it has a distinctive taste which means you can't use it with
everything); and nearly an entire packet of arborio. Yum, risotto!

Anyway, rice isn't that sensitive; mozzarella is currently a bit more
controversial... and I have a ball of that as well, but that's not going
to be there by tomorrow.

Richard

[Richard Bos]

Post by ingenious paradox

Post by Richard Bos
Ah... well... HMPastaHYG?

Eight different types!
... but only one is in a jar.

I have... three in a jar - no, four - and four on the shelf. Let's
see... some curly things, like crude fusilli, of which I have lost the
bag with the name on it, about four handfuls; about half a pound of
orechiette; a tail-end of pappardelle; and almost a pound of spaghetti.
Oh, and half a packet of lasagne. I must make that myself some day, but
I'm awful at anything that involves dough. Batter I'm fine with; but not
dough. And then in the larder: a small pack of conchiglie; one large of
tortiglioni; one of something nameless that looks like casarecce; and
one which claims to be called mafaldine, but which looks like
tagliatelle with fluted edges.

Richard

[Elliott Grasett]

Post by Richard Bos

Post by ingenious paradox

Post by Richard Bos
Ah... well... HMPastaHYG?

Eight different types!
... but only one is in a jar.

I have... three in a jar - no, four - and four on the shelf. Let's
see... some curly things, like crude fusilli, of which I have lost the
bag with the name on it, about four handfuls; about half a pound of
orechiette; a tail-end of pappardelle; and almost a pound of spaghetti.
Oh, and half a packet of lasagne. I must make that myself some day, but
I'm awful at anything that involves dough. Batter I'm fine with; but not
dough. And then in the larder: a small pack of conchiglie; one large of
tortiglioni; one of something nameless that looks like casarecce; and
one which claims to be called mafaldine, but which looks like
tagliatelle with fluted edges.
Richard

Would you believe that Dorothy came home from a shopping spree at Ikea
with a new (to me, at least) pasta shape? It's a die-cut, short pasta
they call "Elks". To a Canuck, they look rather like tiny Moose. Of
course, any Fule kno that moose are a sort of elk.

[Chris Zakes]

On 2 Apr 2008 11:39:35 GMT, an orbital mind-control laser caused

Post by Daibhid Ceanaideach

Post by Esmeraldus
But acolytes ought to like this. Or burn the creator as a heretic.
http://blanksheetofpaper.com/

There's were many schisms, I actually forget what the original Church of
the Blank Sheet of Paper actually believed. Speaking as the representative
of the Reformed United Continuing Scottish Presbyterian Wee Free Church of
the Blank Sheet of Paper, I liked this, and printed several.

He had bought a large map representing the sea,
Without the least vestige of land:
And the crew were much pleased when they found it to be
A map they could all understand.

"What's the good of Mercator's North Poles and Equators,
Tropics, Zones, and Meridian Lines?"
So the Bellman would cry: and the crew would reply
"They are merely conventional signs!

"Other maps are such shapes, with their islands and capes!
But we've got our brave Captain to thank:"
(So the crew would protest) "that he's bought us the best --
A perfect and absolute blank!"

-from "The Hunting of the Snark" by Lewis Carroll

-Chris Zakes
Texas

Overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out.

-Arthur C. Clarke, "The Nine Billion Names of God"

[Nisaba Merrieweather]

G'dday.

Post by Esmeraldus
But acolytes ought to like this. Or burn the creator as a heretic.
http://blanksheetofpaper.com/

I've already sent the URL to this cutting-edge (little paper joke there)
technology to a serious science list. I'm awaiting the flames.

[Bonzai Kitten]

Post by Nisaba Merrieweather
G'dday.

Post by Esmeraldus
But acolytes ought to like this. Or burn the creator as a heretic.
http://blanksheetofpaper.com/

I've already sent the URL to this cutting-edge (little paper joke there)
technology to a serious science list. I'm awaiting the flames.

Did you see the viagra for dogs link? I wrote a mildly amusing (or so
I thought) fake spam message and posted it a couple of places, only to
have it deleted...

... Because people thought it was spam.

So now I think I'll start trying to raise money by telling people
they've won the Bolivian national lottery...